Troll 2

While vacationing in a strange isolated town, a young boy must save his family from an unsavory end at the hands of sinister goblins.

Year: 1990
Certificate: 15
Director: Claudio Fragasso
Starring: Claudio Fragasso, Michael Paul Stephenson, George Hardy, Margo Prey, Robert Ormsby, Connie Young, Darren Ewing, Jason Wright, Jason Steadman, Deborah Reed

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Guest Reviewer: Neil Sheppard [website] [twitter]

There are many films that vye for the coveted title of Worst Movie Ever: “The Room”, “Plan 9 From Outer Space”, “Birdemic”, every movie Adam Sandler has ever made and “Troll 2” (a film completely unrelated to “Troll 1”). Almost 20 years after its release, the latter was made even more notorious by “Best Worst Movie”, a documentary about the film’s enduring infamy made by its very own child star. This has led so many people to revisit this forgotten classic of WTFery that Netflix has just added it to its slate.

“Troll 2” was the masterwork of Italian director, Claudio Fragasso (credited as “Drake Floyd” for the US market) and his wife, Rossella Drudi, who co-wrote the story of a family besieged by malevolent trolls determined to turn them into plants in order to eat them, as a dig at their vegetarian friends. They did so for an American audience, despite barely speaking a word of English. Hence, the film is graced with such non-sequitur gems as: “What’s wrong with having friends?” “Nothing, if you wanna remain a virgin for life. You take them to bed with you and I don’t believe in group sex.”

The language barrier, however, still cannot explain the sheer insanity of the plot, which features a ghostly grandpa conjuring Molotov Cocktails, praise for the troll-slaying power of bologna sandwiches and a little boy relieving himself all over the family dinner table in the middle of a meal. All this is still outshined by the corncob seduction sequence, which I cannot begin to adequately describe in print…

Gaining funding with the help of master shlock film producer, Joe D’Amato (credited as “David Hills”), the barmy couple further destined their film to failure by hiring an Italian-speaking crew, but filming the main cast with anyone who responded to a US advert calling for extras. This included a dentist, an actual mental patient and a girl cast solely for her ridiculous hip bones’ ability to stretch out the crotch of a 90s workout leotard in spite of her being the worst actress in cinematic history.

Still, the ridiculous aspects of the film remain in amusing, “Mystery Science Theatre 3000” territory and never stray into unwatchability, while every now and then “Troll 2” will surprise you with a genuinely creepy sequence. The body horror of vines sprouting from beneath troll victims’ fingernails or bark smothering their faces, for example, belong in a far-better movie.

Far from the Worst Movie Ever, “Troll 2” is simply a half-hearted attempt at a black comedy, scuppered by language barriers, low budgets and mega-egos. It can be forgiven entirely, if you simply get some friends over, get drunk and watch it back-to-back with “Best Worst Movie”.

Make sure to serve bologna sandwiches.

Have you seen this film? Let us know your opinions in the comments below and of course if there are any films on Netflix UK you want us to review let us know!

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